Thay Ruddy Great Cussyblog

I was thinking about how to open a door with only one arm and a bag full of delicately fragile groceries when I realised that this is arm racism! Okay, some people only have one arm. They either start with one arm or they somehow lose one arm, which makes it sound like they leave it on the bus the way I left my wallet one time. Don’t ask.

So if you have one arm you wander around looking at two armed people all the time. The two armed people try not to mention your one arm, mostly, or some of them might say, “Hey! What happened to your arm?!” Clearly it’s arm racist to mention the lack of an arm. But is it arm racist to open the door for a one armed person with a bag of delicately fragile groceries? Probably! If I don’t point it out when somebody has one arm, I’m just politely trying to ignore the fact and that’s also probably arm racist! So maybe one armed people can just enter rooms and announce, “I have one arm.” Why not? You don’t have to answer the announcement, it’s just there for your benefit. From now on I’ll announce the number of limbs I have. I’ll say, “Nine limbs!” Thusly I have escaped more racism?

I also want to point out that USA Independance Day/Fourth of July is an excellent holiday! And it could probably provide you with the opportunity you need to answer my arm racism questions! I call it: The Explodiest Holiday.