Posts Tagged ‘women’
3 items.
IS ARCHIVE
This comic is about the exciting thrills of the world of online comics and the benefits that come with it. Most comic artists are secretly thinking about pegging ladies unless they’re thinking about different types of ladies. I am certainly thinking about casting a Leomund’s lady pegger spell.
IS ARCHIVE
Due to an unforseen incident involving a number of FFA (Federal Floatship Administration) and PGDB (Provisional Government Duties Board) craft flying in close proximity to the Sturmkrieg, Captain Cussy Pants, Esq. has been unable to actively update his logs for a time. What follows is a backdated attempt at a return to normality.
Women! What the fuck? Am I right? They’re all, holy shit I care about things and can you buy me a drink and I totally have a vagina and are you sure you know where the clitoris is and let’s go out for dinner you buy and I seriously think you should consider my boobs before you decide whether or not to ask me out am I right? Am I fucking right? Men in the place! How seriously common is this shit? You know I’m right, don’t you?
Well fuck you. Fuck you and your dipshit gendre roles for life and living. Fuck you and everything you fucking stand for. Fuck your dumbass fringe as well. You don’t know fucking shit about anything. Women aren’t that fucking different, you dumbass cocksucking bitch-cock. You’ve just been looking at it wrong.
Holy shit, a woman shot me down when I asked to buy her a drink = FANNY.
Oh no why, I bought her a necklace and now she won’t answer my calls = SHIT FLAP.
Seriously, I can mortgage my car and still pay for expensive breakfasts when she won’t sleep with me = SPUNK JOCKEY.
Women are not that different. They want a shit tonne of dick just like you want a shit tonne of cock. They just don’t go around screaming about it most of the time. They like to sit back and consider the shit before they get the fuck involved.
Here’s a huge fucking myth: females do the selection in human society.
Huge fucking fact: It’s not the truths lezzers! Wake up and smell the tea. It’s not the women doing the choosing. It’s the men doing the choice to be chosen. And if you don’t get me, get to get me. You get me? I don’t think you do.
That’s all for now, shit bandits. Try not to fuck your lives up in the interim. I’ve got business; I’ve got a fucking anteroom full of government inspectors. I’ve also got left arm loaded with contact energy rounds. Wish me luck, lezzers. I haven’t got the money otherwise.
Love,
Captain Cussy Pants.
IS ARCHIVE
Everywhere I go, guys are complaining. They complain about their jobs, their looks, their bank accounts, their commute, their friends, their health, all sorts of things. And then they complain about not getting laid. Guys complain about that a lot.
Every single time I hear that, I have to smirk at what I feel is a subtle irony – their complaining is what’s giving them the grief to complain about not getting laid.
I wonder what these guys are like on dates, or if they get that far. Hi, madame, did you know my boss is a total cocksucker? Please listen while I tell you everything I hate about the current political climate. You’ll surely want to fuck me after I bitch endlessly about whatever it is we’re doing.
Want to get laid more often? Cut the bitch and moan. Bring the tone up. Nobody gives a shit about your problems. Especially not women.
Love,
Captain Cussy Pants